I can finally find my mittens!!

11,000 years ago I lost my mittens on top of Mt Kilmanjaro. I asked Cambridge Traffic and Parking if they could finally plow up there. They told me to screw off, coz it's their job to do that.

But now, check this out.

C'mon - silver lining, people!!

By the way, here is a nice little paradoxical statement for ya.

Wanna know why Kilmanjaro is so dangerous?? It's because it is FRICK easy to climb. You can do it in like a few hours or so. So what's the big deal? Well, you can basically hike up into the upper troposphere really quick, and you don't get used to the high altitude.

So, you climb, say "woo - pretty view." Then you kick the bucket coz yer blood turns to snot.

thassit.

Better call JT Marsh....

...and Admiral Winfield....because we on our way to makin Neo's! ('Sapes', if yer a racist).

I am talkin about this, by the way.

I am all drained today, like the Kings Park Library pre-1988. Everything gets lent out...nothing at all comes back.

So, time for some granola.

What am I thinkin about this mornin?

Not a helluva lot. It's snowing. Well, it WAS snowing, all last night and now it's warm.

Went running in the snow which was pretty cool. Some lady was runnin in the other way and she said I was crazier than her, coz I was in the snowpiles and she was in the road. Hmm...you pick.

Then I drove around lookin to see who needed shovelin. However, that's the thing about this place...people sure are out and about frick early when it comes to shovelin!

I need a vacation. Somewhere warm. Just like in Spy Game. Put some $$ away - dont touch it ever. Use it to retire somewhere warm.

sup, it's KEPETS.

I pretty much have a metric buttload of work to do. Christ almighty this is a boring-ass blog.

My fingernails are all munched - gross gross gross.

I wish I had a horse to ride. (dum dum do dum....dem dem da dum....dum dum do dum....dem dem da dum...)

I need to buy some cool new furniture. I have all this cash and have no frickin idea what to do with it. "I have all this munnny...and nobody...willl help me...."

I have this couch from Ikea. It cost about the same amount as 6 pounds of bananas.

The funniest thing I have ever heard.....

"Hey Paul!"
"I'm comin!"
"Whoa, I thought you were in the basement and here you are, comin down from the mezzanine!"
"Well, I have periodic boundary conditions."


BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ok I am sure maybe there are other things that compare....let's see if we can figger...

"Looka THIS guy."
"What about my tires, Chris?"....and all that implies....

my toenails need clippin.....

It's been a long time....

....but this really pisses me off.

Can anybody say "War zone?"

Plus, she said "we were driving slowly." HELLO.....it was a car full of ITALIANS. I am sure they were doin more than 80.

Unfortunate, but stop milkin it.

hahahahahahaha Welcome to Cambridge

Looking for a job at the Engineering Department of the University of Cambridge?

Are you an expert in thin films, photonics, or vortex shedding of flexible cylinders?

Well, send your CV. just make sure it doesn't get ketchup on it :)

America is running low on flu vaccine!!! What should you do!?!?!?!?!

Hmm...how about stop being such a frikkin pansy, and drink some water and OJ.

The Stars and Bars

I think Bush is going to lose the Southern vote.

He said he is not going to appoint Supreme Court justices who say slavery is legal.

Materials Scientists rule the world

I recently read a post on Rottentomatoes.com where they were discussing...who would win a battle - Optimus Prime or the T-1000?

And some people ACTUALLY voted for the T-1000.

Let's look at this objectively.

Short answer: Optimus Prime would essentially act as a Playdoh Fun Factory. And the T-1000 would be the Playdoh.

There really is not much else to discuss.

You know you're a doojbag when....

you do the following

1) You buy a Humvee
2) You put a bumper sticker on the back window
3) That bumper sticker has a sarcastic message, and has in BIG font "VOTE KERRY" and then in small font, something making fun of you if you do...so everyone really only sees VOTE KERRY.

Of course you could satisfy yer doojbaggery by doing 1, 2, OR 3.

Been a long time

But who cares? As long as I post now, it's ok.

Let's take a look at the news:

This is pretty cool. No, not coz the dinosaur reminds me of the Shen, but because of the scientist in charge of the investigation!

What else...so in potentially suck-ass times, I am uber-psyched that the Spaniards are goin all El Cid and kickin the smack out of some ETA jizz-freaks. Yeah yeah I sound pretty colloquial there, but they are scumbags and I hope they rot. I think them, like all terrorists, should be tried by these guys. That's right...feed him to the Sharkticons. No rescuing from Grimlock, thank u very much.

What else...what else.

The Dalai Lama sez China has been chucking nuclear waste into Tibet. So, the next time they try and have an uprising, they will have mutant powers. "Don't make me achieve a higher plane of consciousness...you wouldn't like me when I achieve a higher plane of consciousness." If yer dumb and dont get the ref, click here.

Biological research is where it's at these days! However, most of the stuff being researched is useless crap. I decided I am going to work at the NSF before I take public office, and the initiatives I am going to fund are the following:

1) Airborne sterilization, with no side effects. Yeah, like it's not already being worked on.

2) Sterilizing crack. (Thanks Kim)

3) A program that requires surgeons to spend at least one year in a developing nation, fixin people. Not Sudan, unless they've been bad.

4) Airborne St. John's Wort, or that stuff in pot. Can u imagine the possibilities of a dilute feeling of happiness and a desire to go eat a bowl of cereal? Again, I wouldn't do this in Sudan...I think they already have something like this already.

Some megalomaniacs have the right idea, but not the ones who are out for personal gain. I am talkin about the real comic-book villain types, like Ra's Al Ghul, who walk the fine line in a moral grey area. Ok maybe he's nuts.

Maybe I should not be blogging like this, in case I want to be a politician one day.

Alright, time to go to work. Juuuuuuuuuuust makin the bed.